When Mince is a Lie

It might be New Year’s Day and I might be watching the nine o clock news on our ever-pointless national television station (which opened with the newsreader declaring ”happy new year to you” and then proceeded to list all the new charges and bills coming into effect from today – thanks lads, and happy new year’s back, you depressing cretins, cause that’s exactly what we in Ireland need right now, a list of MORE things we can’t afford, after a fake greeting wishing us nothing but more bad news so you PRICKS can have something to report on so we have something to CRY ABOUT and then you can be happy you ARSEHOLES) – BUT there are more pressing issues at hand that don’t include the fact it’s 2012.

By the way, whilst watching the above I sunk into a mini depression and have now flicked over to Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as reality and my hangover hurt too much.

Anyway, I have discovered, after a night spent yapping to Smashers whilst staying in her apartment, that there is NO MINCE IN MINCE PIES.  Never knew this – having always assumed the word ”mince” alluded to, you know, MINCE, or meat of some kind, and it’s an English dessert thing, and they have a thing about meat pies, as do the Australians, who just want to be British anyway (they don’t know it but they do, no matter how American their cities seem).

Smashers was telling me how she was forced at a Christmas family gathering to try a mince pie, after refusing to eat one all her life, because she didn’t like the idea of eating, you, know, MINCE, like, in a PIE.  Anyway she was peer pressured into eating one and discovered that mince means some sort of fruit mash type thing, and it wasn’t as vomit inducing as she had thought.  She asked me did I realise mince pies didn’t have meat and I said no, and we discussed this alongside our usual deep and meaningful stuff, so it’s not like we’re boring or anything.

Should also mention here that after I had gone to bed, I had a VERY sleepless night imagining Smashers was standing at the end of my bed like yer woman from Paranormal Activity, of which myself and Lilsister saw with Firstbrother and Preggers in their apartment (Part 3 this time) and which stressed us out immensly.  But that is a separate issue.

Mentioned the mince pie thing to Lilsister who finds it hilarious that somebody would think mince pies contain meat and despite my perfectly valid arguments that these are an English tradition, and they eat lots of meat pies etc, she is using this as an excuse to slag off and generally belittle me, which is getting quite annoying.  She also can’t believe Smashers thought the same thing, which I think only confirms what I said.

She’s nine years younger, which makes her a total twat anyways, that’s what I think.


3 thoughts on “When Mince is a Lie

  1. Mum used to give us mince pies. I never even thought why they didn’t have mince in them. Just your usual English language thing where the name has nothing to do with the actual item, I guess.
    And I don’t want to be British!! Mum’s Englishness is something we choose never to discuss.

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