Driving to my awful job, I go down the back roads through a deserted carpark to cut my commute down.
I drive into the car park, follow the arrows around, then down an aisle to where my car park is on the left. Unfortunately, when I come out of the aisle the only option is to drive right, and drive back round where I came from so I go left – the carpark is empty and it’s perfectly safe.
But no – I can’t – a bright green BLOB is blocking my way. I turn down my Script cd, push the sunglasses onto the head, roll down the window (making sure the doors are locked) and in my poshest voice query with the blob what the problem is.
”The arrow yokes,” he dribbles ”they’re pointing this way and you’re driving that way.”
In my best ”addressing a servant” voice, I explain that the carpark is empty and I’m not hurting anyone.
”The arrows,” he keeps mumbling.
”I’m trying to get to work,” I declare in my move-out-of-the-way-you-ruffian voice.
”Arrows,” says greenie.
I turn the wheel quickly, screech out of his way, drive back down the wrong way, take a left at the next aisle and as I descend into my carpark and receive the death stares, to which I reply with a big smile and a thumbs up. Suck on this sackboy!!!