A very disturbing message from Scarydancer via Lilsister earlier this afternoon, which I THINK was morning for the both of them. Calling from her jollidays house further into the suburbs, she told me that Scarydancer needed me to do him a big favour. Being stretched out on the bed at the time, chilling to a number of Madonna ballads, I was highly uninterested. ”What is it?” I dribbled.
”He needs you to call the fire brigade,” she confirmed ”as his asshole is on fire.”
It seems that too much consumption of three for ten euro beers at the pub near their jollidays house, coupled with a burger n onion rings meal, has given rise to feverish beershites which have caused much pain in the bumbum area for poor Scarydancer. I winced inwardly, as I thought of my own several beer consumption last night, firstly whilst reading the paper and then more at Panties and Hangsandwich’s house, where I was fed an excellent steak and baked potato meal, and got to meet the only other single in Ireland aged over 35, a friend of Hangsandwich, who appears perfectly at ease with his lot. It is a great relief to know that these people actually exist. I DO have my eye on an unsuspecting 36 year old, but naturally I found out he is girlfriended, so I had to put my husbandcatching net away there. Will it ever get an outing? Tune in to find out.