When A Lie Down Isn’t Enough…Where is the Wine?

”How can I help you?”
(Silence)
”I work for the hospital.”
(Silence)
”Yes.”
”And they used to pay monthly.”
(Silence)
”Now they will pay…fortnightly.”
”Oh okay.”
(Silence)
”So…it will go in every two weeks.”
‘That’s right.”
”Will they call you about that?”
”Your employer will not call us to talk about the frequency of your payments sir.”
”My mortgage.”
”Yes?”
(Silence)
”Your mortgage?”
(Silence)
”It comes out…”
Inward sigh.  ”Monthly?”
”Yes!”
”Right.  It will still come out monthly, do you want to change the date of the monthly payment?”
”I don’t know.”

Go Away You Silly Person

I begin by advising: ”The payment hasn’t come in.”
”But it should have!”
”Right.”
”Are you sure?”
”Yes.”
”Surely if he set up the payment it should be there by now?”
”That’s right.”
”Are you SURE it’s not there.”
”Definately not.”
”He said he paid it.”
”It was not paid into your account.”
”Really?”