After shelling out for the world’s nosiest doctor, Mammy and Daddy depart Irish shores to travel to the lovely Lanzarote, where it’s warm and medication costs less.
‘Get me my sleeping tablets,’ I bark at Mammy, ‘as I have no money left from the Doctor Prat-a-lot.’
Mammy does, and hands them over upon her return, alongside a very cheap bottle of gin, my drink of choice.
Gin and sleeping tablets – would the doctor be worried? Surely they don’t cause alarm bells to ring if your mother gets them for you in a sunny place?