Insert Heartwarming Christmas Message Here

Arms so sore from exercise yesterday that it hurt to turn the wheel in the car, I went gracefully to my nearest shopping centre for Christmas present ideas.  All that happened was that I got really annoyed, really fast.

Firstly, I usually do all this by October.  I don’t know what it is this year, but I am just completely uninterested in buying presents for presents’ sake.  Am I becoming a more rounded human being?  Probably not, I must just be tired.

And Christmas shouldn’t be about spending money for the sake of it.  The mad girl who does my waxing also works on call for our wonderful government with kids who have been removed from their homes; she will spend a 24 hour shift starting Christmas morning in a care home with some of them.  I say on call because she cannot get the hours to do this, despite the many many children who need professional care.  See, our country only values children when they are unborn.

Anyhoo, I walked into an already TEEMING shopping centre (it was only 10am!) full of ugly people and instantly wanted to leave.  I say ugly in the sense that perfectly normal people (well it was 95% women) had horrible, stressful, Christmasissuchaworry type frowns on their beaten faces.  People were bashing into each other, using shopping trolleys to clear pathways towards frozen food aisles (you know, stock up for that one day of the whole year when shops close, because you might starve!!!!) and screaming at kids to stand stock still in places full of glitter, christmas lights and toys.

I went to three stores for ideas, got none, and came home with a giant scone and a carrot and corriander flavoured falaffel wrap.  I will eat this whilst watching my recording of the German movie ‘Downfall’ about the last days of Hitler.